I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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