What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize