the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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