end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
