So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
