in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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