Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Bring me that man meat
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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