He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
