Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Sorry my hands just texted you
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
