We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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