we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
