I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
