Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You don't make any sense
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