i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
