Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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