Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
