I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
