I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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