dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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