so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
