My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
