so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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