Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I licked your asshole in confidence.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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