I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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