The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
