is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
