I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
