I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
