Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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