dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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