Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize