Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I didn't shave. On purpose
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
