so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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