Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
