Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
