drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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