Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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