i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
