i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
