I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
