oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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