New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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