I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
