I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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