there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
