We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
