I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
