Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
