i will never coherently bang her
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
