This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
