Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
