dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Can I color on your dick again?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Randomize
