Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
