i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
