i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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