My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
