i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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