I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
