Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
