just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
