I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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