Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
