I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
