It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
