She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize