At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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